From the Henry Cate Life Humor collection:
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From the Sacramento Daily Union of Nov 17, 1860.
News What is News
We find the following announcement in a St Louis paper: A party of gentlemen in Sacramento, California, have been for some time secretly experimenting in diamond making. The last mail informs us that the whole affair blew up, nearly killing J W Underwood, one of the enthusiasts.
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From the Sacramento Daily Union Dec 30, 1860
The French Railway companies have made a new regulation, whereby every passenger is weighed and charged accordingly.
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From the Nevada Morning Transcript of January 30, 1861
A New Way of Taking Pills
A physician one night in Wisconsin being disturbed by a burglar, and having no ball or shot for his pistol, noiselessly loaded the weapon with small, hard pills, and gave the intruder a "prescription" which he thinks will go far towards curing the rascal of a very bad ailment.
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By Daniel Mintz
San Jose News, 8/22/83, Business Section
**All of these were collected by a businessman named John Ehrman, a "computer professional" (whatever that is). Each one was actually said or written ingenuously. My favorites are marked by **
COINING SOME PHRASES
"She had a missed conception." **
"To be a leader, you have to develop a \spear de corps/."
WHEN TALKING BEARS VEGETABLES
"I can't hear what you're saying because of the noise of the celery I'm chewing in my ears."
"All food must be removed from this refrigerator on Friday for cleaning."
UTTERLY AMAZING
"That needs some thinking about; let me go away and regurgitate for a couple of hours." **
"Things are so bad right now that even positions with people in them are vacant." **
2 comments:
This post made me laugh. Hard. Thank you!
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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