In a thought provoking post Dr. Helen answers Why are Diamonds a Girl's Best Friend? Women often ask for jewelry which is expensive, but not productive. Dr. Helen writes:
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I never understood the whole concept of a woman wanting jewelry from a man, especially diamonds, until I read the book Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters. In the book, two evolutionary psychologists explain why people do what they do. Why are diamonds a girl's best friend? The authors conclude that women have to discriminate between "dads" and "cads" among male suitors. In order to find the guy that will stay with her and help her with children, she looks for two qualities: "the ability to acquire and accumulate resources, and the willingness to invest them in her and her children."
A good way to screen for men who are both willing and able to invest is to demand an expensive gift--known as a courtship gift or nuptial gift in evolutionary biology. Not just any expensive gift will do. A Mercedes or house does not usually fill the bill--for these might have intrinsic value to the man if he likes European cars or is interested in real estate. A courtship gift, according to the book, must be costly and lack intrinsic value and be useless.
Diamonds and flowers are beautiful and their beauty lies in their inherent uselessness; "this is why Volvos and potatoes are not beautiful." So guys, apparently, gifts that are "costly but worthless"--facilitate courtship, according to a recent study mentioned in the book.
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I'm glad my wife doesn't want a lot of expensive jewelry. She's worth it and I'd buy if she really wanted it, because she is worth it. But I'm glad she is practical and willing to invest our money in more productive endeavors.
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5 comments:
My husband is also thankful that I don't ask for expensive, useless gifts. :P
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Well, one of the times that I knew dh was planning on marrying me was when he found out I didn't have an IRA and "loaned" me $2000 to start one. He deposited it directly into my bank account and I had to promise to start an IRA for the previous tax year and start an allotment for the current one. I suppose that counts as demontrating a willingness to invest long term in the relationship.
You are welcome Joyce.
Sebastian, that may not be the most romantic gift I've heard, but it is a powerful statement of committment. Congratulations.
My engagement ring is not particularly impressive from a materialistic point-of-view as the diamond is on the smaller side. However, the fact that it was his grandmother's ring makes it more special to me than if he had gone out and bought me a fancier ring at a store. It was a tangible symbol of my being welcomed into his family.
Well I have a fondness for eye candy. On the other hand I do at least get quality pieces at a bargain usually. Hubby did splurge on by butterfly bracelet one year for Christmas (and it is one of my favorite pieces).
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