6) Dad regularly has one-on-one time with each family member.
Each month, Henry has a daddy/daughter date with each of his daughters separately. Usually, this takes the form of going out to breakfast or ice cream. Each child gets her turn alone with Dad. Before going out, Henry will give me a few minutes to write down some of the good things that child has done recently. While Dad and Daughter are together, Dad will use this list to compliment and encourage the child.
Usually, each “date” takes about an hour. Henry often just lets the child talk about what ever she wants. We don’t use this time to talk about problems or to correct a child. Its purpose is positive reinforcement.
Also, I think Henry does it to remind me to focus on the positive. It can be very hard if you are frustrated with a child to think of good things to write for Henry's "good things" list.
This one-on-one time is not just for the kids. Henry makes a point to spend one-on-one time with me. When the kids were younger, I would arrange a babysitter or babysit swap so that we could have an evening together. This has gotten easier as the children have gotten older. Now, it is quite easy for me to leave the kids home for an hour while I sneak off to have lunch with Dad.
Married dating serves a dual purpose. It demonstrates to our children that Mom is important to Dad and it improves our relationship. In years past when we've let date night slide, we found that as a couple we were more quick to find fault and were all around grumpier.
For most homeschool families, homeschooling isn't just about education. It's about building strong families. And while family can function as a unit, it is built on distinct relationships that each need attention.
I'm reminded of that old public service announcement that was on tv years ago:
Dad, give your children everything. Give them your time.
Next see Part 7.
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