Life Humor 2.H

From the Henry Cate Life Humor collection:
Life Humor 2.H was posted 19 Nov 1987

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From the November issue of Road & Track...

From there's-gotta-be-a-better-way file: A man from Kokomo, Indiana drove his car to Indianapolis to pick up a truck he purchased. The problem: two vehicles, ONE driver. So, he drove his car up the road, parked and walked back to the truck. Then, he drove the car a ways past the truck.... The dealership is 63 miles from Kokomo. The story ran in the Indianapolis News.

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"If you took all the economists and laid them head to toe, they would stretch around the world three times and the only thing they would not reach is a conclusion."

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Wanna know how to make a small fortune in stocks?
Start with a large fortune.

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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: MY GOD!!  IT BURNT OUT!!  SELL ALL MY G.E. STOCK NOW!!!!!
B: Two.  One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

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Heard on WITR yesterday: RIT students have organized their annual community involvement volunteer project.  This year's project will be to help clean up Mt. Hope Cemetery.  The project has been titled "The Grateful Dead".

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Person 1:  Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
Person 2:  No.
Person 1:  GOOD!

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 A rabbi, a priest, and a lawyer were all caught in a shipwreck. Naturally, there are a lot of sharks circling around.  All of a sudden, one shark darts in and grabs the priest for lunch.  No more priest. The rabbi starts praying frantically, but to no avail, as a shark comes in and eats him, too.  Now the lawyer is really worried, as a shark is coming for him.  But, miracle of miracles, the shark puts him on its back, carries him to shore, and lets him off.  The lawyer, curious, waits till the shark is far enough away not to eat him, and asks, "How come you didn't eat me?"  And the shark replies, "Professional Courtesy!"

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