Life Humor 2.3

From the Henry Cate Life Humor collection:


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Bummer sticker pair:

On the left corner of the bumper there was a sticker saying: "Eliminate and Abolish Redundancy"
On the right corner of the bumper there was a sticker saying: "Eliminate and Abolish Redundancy"

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Bumper Snickers:

XEROX: Your BUREAUCRACY is our business.
LEMMINGS DON'T GROW OLDER, THEY JUST DIE
You have a seatbelt; has it hugged you today?
Illiterate?  Write for free help.
MY  OTHER  CAR  IS  A  REAL  OTA

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Subject: Bumper sticker du jour

Help Stamp Out Intolerance!
I'm not FOR apathy and I'm not AGAINST it.
Prosperity is our God given right
Archaeologists will date any old thing.
FIGHT ORGANIZED CRIME, STAMP OUT THE IRS
DOES THE NAME PAVLOV RING A BELL?
WELCOME TO LOS ANGELES NOW GO HOME
I love, I owe, so off to work I go.
WARP 6 A Law We Can Live With
THE  TROUBLE  WITH POLITICAL JOKES IS THEY GET ELECTED.
THE BEST THING TO SPEND ON YOUR CHILDREN IS TIME
Seen on a plummer's truck: In my business, a flush beats a full house.
On a well worn, ca 1967 Volkswagen: Driver Carries No Cash
Seen on cars in Apple Computer parking lots: Honk if you hate the IBM PC

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Mingled Metaphors:

There's a flaw in the ointment.
We'll burn that bridge when we come to it.
It can't hurt but help us.
Laughing on the outside, paneling on the inside, ...
Look at the camera and say "birdie".
Let me take you under my thumb.
That's all water over the bridge now.
You're treading on thin ground.
Before they made him, they broke the mold.
We've got them eating out of our laps.
No sooner said, the better.

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Buttons Seen at SF Cons

I thought YOU silenced the guard!
Planetary Engineer, Fjords a specialty
I haven't lost my mind - it's backed up on tape somewhere
Freedom - It is our worship-word!
Mildly annoyed scientist
Incorrigible punster Do not incorrige
It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations

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From T-Shirts:

Rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down.
Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
Beam me up, Scotty. There's no intelligent life down here.
I'm not playing hard to get, I am hard to get.
There is intelligent life on Earth, but I'm just visiting.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Don't be humble. You're not that great.
Whatever it is I'm against it.
I used to be lost in the shuffle, now I just shuffle along with the lost.
Perfect paranoia is perfect awareness.

We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.
Talent does what it can, genius does what it must, I do what I'm paid to do.
I used to be an idealist, but I got mugged by reality.
My lawyer can beat up your lawyer.
Still crazy after all these years.
You can tell the men from the boys by the price of their toys.
Don't ask me any questions. I just might tell you the truth.
It's been Monday all week today.
One person with courage makes a majority.
If you're not an idealist at 20 you have no heart, but if you're still an idealist at 30 you have no head.
Nothing is impossible if you don't have to do it yourself.
What you are speaks so loudly I can't hear what you're saying.
Don't let school interfere with your education.
I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid.
When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble delegate.
Mama told me there'd be years like these.
You don't know what you're talking about do you?
Nothing was ever accomplished by a reasonable person.