Life Humor 1.L

From the Henry Cate Life Humor collection:

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"Attempting to rob a bank, Gerald Rodgers handed a teller a note in which he threatened to blow up the bank with a bum.  The bum, said the note would 'go of whenever I won't it too, and I won't hesitate to kill anybody starting with you first.'  The note warned bank personnel against using 'markt money ... exsplosive rubber bands' and further directed, 'And you get of out thing alive.  And whenever I leave act like nothing happen or eles.' 

Rodgers got away with $4550 - temporarily.  It seems he had scribbled the note on one of his mother's checks, from which he's cleverly scratched out her name but left her account number."

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From the 9 Feb. '87 New Yorker:

CONSTABULARY NOTES FROM ALL OVER [from the Arcata (Calif.) Union]

Tiffany's ice cream parlor alerted police to a person defacing the statue of William McKinley on the Arcata Plaza.  Police apprehended a suspect and released him with a warning not to stick cheese in McKinley's ears and nose anymore.

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I recently opened a fortune cookie and found the following fortune:

"New encounters could change the course of your file."

Is this a spelling error, or the start of a new wave of fortune cookies aimed at Computer Scientists?

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     Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy.
         Janet Long