It depends on what you value

I had a recent conversation with a good friend who works at a public school. I was a bit surprised by some of her conclusions about homeschoolers. During the course of the conversation, I realized that we were talking at cross purposes. Many of the things that she believed were negatives associated with homeschooling, I thought were positives. We agreed that our perspectives were different because we valued different things.

For example, socialization is often brought up in the homeschool debate. For many in mainstream America, socialization is measured by interactions among "peers" of the same age and in the same short-lived, artificial bubble (class at school, youth group at church, sports team, and so forth). That type of socialization is valuable to my friend, which is not surprising, considering the nature of her job.

When I define socialization, its end goal is not transitory popularity on the playground. I grade socialization by how well a child interacts in adult society and takes upon himself adult roles. I value peer interaction only as a means to an end.

Of course, I want my children to have friends, but in a broader social context. I expect interaction among youth to serve a long-term function of integrating them into civilized society, not to entrench them in a separate and degenerate subculture.* This is one of the primary reasons we do not send our children to school (public or private).

On more than one occasion, I've heard homeschoolers criticized for interacting too well with adults and not mixing enthusiastically enough with youth of their same age.

Obviously, we don't value the same things.


*Paul Graham's essay, Why Nerds are Unpopular, does a great job of exploring this issue.


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