Spunky has an interesting idea for making sure her daughters marry well in The Spunky Marriage Test:
"As a mother of six, five of them in their teens or beyond, I'm fast approaching the age when my children will be venturing out on their own. When we talk about how our lives will change when that happens, the topic of marriage inevitably pops up. None of them are anywhere close to tying the knot just yet and I'm certainly not going to rush things But when that time does come, we'll have one request of the men who seek to marry our four daughters: let us have a look at what's one your computer and your internet history." (Emphasis is mine.)
Janine and I have consider a different approach; but we have the same goal. As the parents of three daughters Janine and I often talk about how we can help our daughters make good choices. We've told each daughter that we would like to take a perspective husband camping with us.
This is based on a book I read years ago. One of my mother's friends wrote about a young woman who is being courted. In the book a family has a summer vacation planned and invite the young man. They go camping. The young man complains and doesn't pull his own weight. The daughter quickly realizes that the young man looks good for a couple hours over a dinner, or while watching a movie, but he has a very shallow character.
Our bigger goal is to help our daughters to be so mature and wise that they'll only be attracted to spiritual, mentally healthy, kind, hard working young men.
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Technorati tags: marriage, courtship, parenting, children, education
6 comments:
"Years ago we found that we could read to our girls and they would be quiet, but they weren't really listen. Janine asked a question about what we had just read. They didn't know. So we read the verse again. They still didn't have a clue. We read it again. They realized we could be there a long time, so they really listened, and do a pretty good job now of listening. It is exciting when they'll ask questions."
Isn't that forcing your children to believe in something that they, at the time, we're intellectually ready to believe and/or learn? Additionally, by rereading it to them over and over, it seems as though you're forcing them to believe some standard of behavior and moral without letting them develop their own beliefs, ideas, and desires. And then a next few posts you mention the USA study wonder why religion is declining in America? I'd say it has something to do with the old-school way faith is installed on others. No wonder your children listened-they had no choice, as you say: "We read it again. They realized we could be there a long time, so they really listened, and do a pretty good job now of listening." Although your children, as you say, ask questions now, where's the independence and individual development in this structure?
Shannon, since most of your comment about this post, I've responded in detail there.
I like the idea of camping. I have three boys. I'm not a huge camper, but it has fallen to me to be the parent at almost all the overnight cub scout camping. I'm always stunned by the women who won't even consider a weekend of camping because it involves discomfort and getting dirty. Makes me wonder how they get through the less wonderful parts of the marriage vows (in sickness, for worse) or how they weather adversity if a damp tent sends them cringing off.
Janine went to girls camp last year. The girls are asked not to bring makeup. Janine was surprised that a few of the leaders were bringing makeup.
Here's a tongue-in-cheek application to date my daughter:
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/diamondsintherough/481467/
Most kids know how to clear their computer's history. You are better off asking the candidate face to face if he looks at, or has ever looked at pornography. His facial expression will give him away. :o)
"Most kids know how to clear their computer's history."
If I found a completely empty computer I would know something was up.
It is going to be so weird when one of my daughters comes home with a perspective husband.
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