Suggestions for helping children to learn self-motivation

In response to my post about the importance of self-motivation, Catherine asks:

"Great, but how do you instill that in your children? How do you get rid of a bad attitude about learning? What if your kid always gives up when things are hard, and stops from boredom when they're easy?"

We try a couple ways to promote self-motivation:

1) Low key rewards when our children take initiative. We don't want them to start taking action with the hope for some prize. When they do something good we try to praise them.

2) We talk with our children about why they should be active and be self driven. If they understand a principle, they are more likely to take action.

Anyone have any other suggestions?


Catherine, to an extent all children are lazy. (At least the ones I've met.) Some times they'll see value in a certain amount of work. Some children are more willing to work.

Part of my answer to your question would depend on the child, the age of the child, and why they are avoiding work.

If the child has been in public schools and learned that "education" is boring, for nerds, and just busy work, then you might want to give the child a chance to deschool.

If a child is getting lots of fun benefits for no work, you might take away video games, fancy clothes, toys and so on. One of the most important lessons children need to learn is that actions have consequences. If they work, they should get a benefit.

If the child is really bored, then look into finding more challenging work.

Does that help?


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