Our first two months of doing foster care has taught Janine and I much. I am glad we have started doing foster care. It has been hard in many ways. Taking care of the five children we've had has impacted our family in the activities we can attend. We've had to dedicate many hours a day. It has added some stress.
Overall I'm glad we've been doing foster care.
In reading The Education Wonks' post on Babies Having Babies: Now A Generational Problem I was reminded of a poem. I did a Google search and found there are several versions. Here is one:
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The Ambulance in the Valley
‘Twas a dangerous cliff, as they freely confessed,
Though to walk near its crest was so pleasant;
But over its terrible edge there had slipped
A duke, and full many a peasant.
The people said something would have to be done,
But their projects did not at all tally.
Some said ‘Put a fence ‘round the edge of the cliff,’
Some, ‘An ambulance down in the valley.’
The lament of the crowd was profound and was loud,
As their tears overflowed with their pity;
But the cry for the ambulance carried the day
As it spread through the neighbouring city.
A collection was made, to accumulate aid
And the dwellers in highway and alley
Gave dollars or cents – not to furnish a fence –
But an ambulance down in the valley.
‘For the cliff is all right if you’re careful,’ they said;
‘And if folks ever slip and are dropping,
It isn’t the slipping that hurts them so much
As the shock down below – when they’re stopping.’
So for years (we have heard), as these mishaps occurred
Quick forth would the rescuers sally,
To pick up the victims who fell from the cliff,
With the ambulance down in the valley.
Said one, to his pleas, ‘It’s marvel to me
That you’d give so much greater attention
To repairing results than to curing the cause;
You had much better aim at prevention.
For the mischief, of course, should be stopped at its source;
Come, neighbours and friends, let us rally.
It is far better sense to rely on a fence
Than an ambulance down in the valley.’
‘He is wrong in his head,’ the majority said;
‘He would end all our earnest endeavour.
He’s a man who would shirk this responsible work,
But we will support it forever.
Aren’t we picking up all, just as fast as they fall,
And giving them care liberally?
A superfluous fence is of no consequence,
If the ambulance works in the valley.’
The story looks queer as we’ve written it here,
But things oft occur that are stranger
More humane, we assert, than to succour the hurt
Is the plan of removing the danger.
The best possible course is to safeguard the source
By attending to things rationally.
Yes, build up the fence and let us dispense
With the ambulance down in the valley.
Joseph Malins 1895
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In talking with the social workers we've learned that many children are coming from homes with problems of neglect, drug abuse, domestic violence and so on. At times it is overwhelming.
It seems that doing foster care may be like having an ambulance in the valley. For now we plan to continue with the foster care. I'll ponder for awhile about also helping to build the fence.
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Technorati tags: foster care, parenting, family, children
8 comments:
Wonderful poem and you are right. That is very much what foster care is like. It is unfortunately very necessary but it doesn't solve much.
Dana
Principled Discovery
I'm currently reading "The Assault on Parenthood" by Dana Mack. In it, she has a long discussion about how it would be both more cost-effective to taxpayers and better for children to provide additional social services to poor families rather than to put those kids into the foster care system. Some large percentage of kids are in foster care not because their parents abused them but just because the parents just don't have the resources to take care of them :-(
Interesting poem.
We are going into foster care too. We should be licensed by the end of the month. I'm getting a little bit terrified at this point, but I feel called.
Our county has programs like that. But even with "maintenance" programs, many of the parents still can't provide minimal care.
Most foster children don't have "families" like we use the word.
I have not yet had a foster child who had married parents who were actually caring for their own children.
The more typical scenario is mom has three kids by two different men and is living with another. The kids live with the grandma or aunt and the mother visits them when she is in between boyfriends. The dad has 2 or three kids who are bounced between his former girl friends and other relatives.
Maintenance programs are doing no kindness by perpetuating this pattern to the next generation.
>We are going into foster care too. We should be licensed by the end of the month.
Good for you. It is a roller coaster ride, but worth it.
Wow, that poem is powerful.
Many systems apply to this other than foster care.
Your family is wonderful for taking on the foster care. That takes a very big heart.
Great post.
We have long had a sign in our house with this quote, "It is better to build children than to repair men."
That reminds me of your ambulance in the valley poem.
>"It is better to build children than to repair men."
Thanks for sharing that quote.
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